


Rey and Kylo are Savage

by Caffeine_addict



Series: Reylo shots [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Books, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mild Language, Party, just a bit, mostly fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-02-28 20:12:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13279023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffeine_addict/pseuds/Caffeine_addict
Summary: After the first installment of Rey and Kylo's Peculiar Bookstore where Kylo tries his hardest to stop people from buying books he dislikes comes another part. This time Kylo and Rey have to deal with Hux, the party planner from hell, as he tries to organise a party for Luke Skywalker. To add it up, Poe decides this would be an excellent time to find out what kind of a drunk Kylo is.*I promise next chapter is much funnier*





	1. I Judge for Free

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's me again. I have decided to see just how insulting I can be (a lot as it turned out), but that's ok because we find out Kylo's book standard! BTW I am a nerd and the whole thing about genre is basically what I have/am trying to research because 1) it's hella interesting 2 )fanfiction work SO MUCH differently than normal genre, like seriously we are so much better at nothing wtf is gonna happen. Trust me, I wrote a diss on that.

“Your mother just emailed me.” Rey said. It wasn’t unusual for Leia to email her daughter in law. She received emails with such contents as restaurants recommendations and questions about her very reluctant to communicate son. This time she wished to know if he will ever decide on the email she sent last week. 

“Tell her I will answer it in due time.” Kylo sipped his black coffee. They were having breakfast in their dinning room. Kylo had his usual buttered toast and Rey preferred porridge. Today she joined him by having toast, butter and jam. 

“I don’t like what you are implying. Is it important?” Rey asked. She knew how much her husband enjoyed feigning indifference about family matters. 

“Just a book party.” 

“For…” Rey felt the metaphorical penny be thrown in the air.

“My uncle.” And it dropped. Of course Kylo would be reluctant to do anything with his family. It has been the cause of many arguments over the years. Rey struggled to understand why someone would throw away their parents’ love when it was given willingly. Her foster parents were always nice, but they had their own children that they loved more. So she had to accept that at 18 years old, she was an adult and was forced to be self-sufficient. There wasn’t a person that would take care of her if she weren’t. 

Rey sighed. 

“Why do you always do this?” 

Kylo was taken aback by her bold wording. If it was anything serious she tended to circle around the subject. 

“Because this what they always do. They make promises they cannot keep. Why should I always be the one to do everything as they please when they couldn’t do so in the past?” Kylo tried to keep his voice level. But it was a touchy subject for both him and Rey. Their opinions on family were polar opposites. 

“Because they are trying!” Rey shouted in response. 

“Mine gave up ages ago.” She said defeatedly. Kylo’s heart always tore when he saw how much this still marked his wife. 

“You don’t know that.” He simply said. “I’ll tell my mother, Luke can have his stupid party here.” He knew this won’t fix anyone’s relationship; his mother tried, her almost daily emails were a good indication of her trying to start a good relationship with her son again. It was his father’s silence that bothered him more. He always felt his mother’s love. They were two of the same. It was his father that was distant. 

“You don’t have to do it because I’ve made you feel guilty, do it because you want it.” Rey was full of wisdom, thought Kylo. How did she always manage to hit the nail on the head on what was bothering him?

“I want…” he thought about it for a second, “to me horribly sarcastic today.” 

“It’s a good thing we know just how you can do that.” Rey smiled and together they went downstairs to open the shop. 

In the evening, Rey was facetimeing Leia while Kylo was making dinner and occasional remarks. 

“It sounds like a boring book.” He shouted. 

“Then it should be right up your alley.” Leia retorted. “Isn’t terribly depressing your favourite genre?” 

“I think you should know that is not a genre.” 

“Anyway, Rey, I have emailed Luke and his editor and hopefully someone will come by soon to see the place and make arrangements for the launch party.” 

“Oh, exciting.” Rey loved when someone else did her work. Book swapping parties were one thing, but the prospect of cleaning up after god knows how many people was terrifying. 

“You sound like you’re getting your teeth pulled.” 

“Rey can’t handle alcohol.” He yelled again. 

“This is my conversation.” Rey answered. 

“My mother. Therefore my conversation.” 

Rey started at him. “How is the food going?” 

“Almost ready to turn from a disaster to a passable meal.” 

“My favourite.” 

“You two warm my cold dead heart.” Leia commented. She worried that their constant arguing would be the death of them, it was the death of her and Han. It seemed  
different to her, it wasn’t lightning and a world wind romance. As far as she saw it was light teasing and lots of domesticity. A good sign that it would live. God knows what would happen to Ben if Rey ever decided she had enough of his bullshit. 

“At least he can tell a spoon from a ladle, I know Han can’t.” 

“I can’t remember the last time I saw Luke.” Rey wondered. “It must have been at the wedding.” 

“Yet another distant person in my family. And he wasn’t actually there, he facetimed himself in” Kylo butted in. 

“Clearly you want to talk to your mother alone. Should I leave my conversation?” 

“You know what, I think Ben needs your attention. Talk to you tomorrow.” 

“Bye.” Rey waved at her. She needed some rosé. “Was I too annoying tonight?” Ben asked and poured some wine for her. 

“You could have been nicer.” Although, she sure loved it when he wasn’t too nice. Rey wished she had her husband’s bluntness when dealing with rude people. There comes a time in everyone’s life when they need to stop being walked over by people. Especially when working in retail. Not that people came to their peculiar bookstore to be treated kindly. Just today Kylo was ringing up a book – something by Conrad – and the customer was insulted that he wasn’t verbally abused.  
Kylo came closer to her. “I’ll work on that.” He murmured. Rey went on her tip toes and put her arms around his neck. “Yeah, you will.” Their lips touched, and they kissed until the egg timer went off pulling them back to reality. Kylo gave her a tight hug before grabbing the plates behind her so he could serve dinner. 

They had a rule not to talk about their shop while eating; it was established because they too once struggled and talking about their independent bookshop in an era of Barnes and Noble and Waterstones, was a sure-fire way of killing the passion while increasing anxiety about their future.

“You would hate the book I’m reading.” Kylo said. 

“Really?” Rey loved it when he told her about random books. They tried so hard to be civil, but for them it was more dangerous than Monopoly. Actually, they were  
dangerous at Monopoly. Finn and Poe stopped playing with them because no matter what they would join sides and take them down with no mercy. 

“I’m re reading Neuromancer.” 

“God, no.” Rey groaned. 

“Don’t you remember the argument we had about Gibson in college?” Kylo had a quick flashback, but not much concrete other than a bloody nose.

“You punched me when I said we own our understanding of the future to him.” 

“The metal nails are cool, but other than that, do we really need to be this pessimistic about the future? If we keep bleak visions like his in mind, then we will likely reach that bleak future and pronounce it prophetic.”

“Or we can see where we fucked up and try to be better.” 

Rey snorted. “Not going to happen.” 

“Fine, Gibson is off the table. What are you reading?” 

“Like you don’t know.” 

“I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.” 

“I will read it to you and you will see that it works much better as a book. If someone were to stretch it out into a 500-page fully Victorian-style novel, I would gladly read it seven times.” Rey argued. 

“Crimson Peak is already Victorian-style. It is just a dodgy approximation.” Kylo argued. 

“The important part is that I like it.” Rey said and took another bite of her food. Man, was Kylo a better cook than she was. 

“I’ve read worse things to be fair.” 

“When did you read it?” Rey perked up. Finally she caught him reading a book she knew he would only semi-approve of.” 

“I couldn’t sleep the last two nights. It was on your bedside table.”

Rey smiled from her wine glass. All the colour was in her cheeks now and she was feeling a tad light-headed. 

“I can’t always enjoy Proust. As good a writer as he is.” 

“You nerd.” Her husband teased. 

“Is there anything decent on TV tonight?” She took a long sip. 

“Nope.” 

Rey pursed her lips. Kylo took her glass away from her. “I was drinking that.” 

“You were dropping that. Besides, I have an idea what we could do tonight.” 

“You do?” She wiggled her eyebrows seductively. 

Kylo took his wife in his arms and bridal carried her to their bedroom. They didn’t need any TV tonight. 

The next day, they opened the shop as normal to find a very disgruntled looking man already waiting. He had a face that had so much definition it nearly scared Rey. It was a harsh face and the expression of anger did nothing to soften it. The stranger wore black, even had a black scarf; the only bright thing on him was his ginger hair. Kylo was shocked to see his face wasn’t filled with freckles, although that was no indication his body was devoid of them. 

“The sign says it opens at 9 am. It’s 10.” He spat out. “I’ve been waiting for an hour.”

“It’s my shop and I can over sleep when I want.” Kylo said as Rey began apologising. 

“My name is Armitange Hux, I am the event organizer.” He introduced himself. 

“We are Rey and Kylo, we own this place.” 

“Place is a good name for it.” Kylo raised his eyebrow, this place was his and he was fiercely protective of it. 

“You’re here to make it party ready, not to judge it.” He said. Kylo already hated this event organiser. How is that a real job anyway? 

“The judgment is for free.” He quipped. “Although I could spend a century doing that.”

“You work slowly, it took me only a second to realise your outfit is fucking tragic.” Rey interrupted him. 

Hux took a large step towards her, Kylo stepped in front of his wife in response. 

“I am sure you have a S&M dungeon to return to soon, so don’t take your poor fashion sense out on my wife.” He said. Kylo half wished to take the dungeon stuff out of the sentence, but he couldn’t any more.

Hux saw that any further confrontation would be futile, they would just spend eternity being savage. Instead he decided to have a look around. As soon as he did the tension was relieved, although, Rey and Kylo were ready to verbally assault him again if necessary.

“At least it’s large.” He walked around the shop hating everything, his back impossibly straight, like someone stuck a broom or a large stick up his anus and he was yet to be given permission to remove it. Rey didn’t like him one bit. How could someone so hateful work as a party organiser? 

“The launch is in two days, I will make camp here,” He pointed to Kylo’s vinyl station where he listened to music during slow hours, “my assistant will be here in one hour.” He turned and saw dust sitting by some Dungeons and Dragons figurines. “And I’ll call a competent cleaner.” 

“I’ll find you a spike to sit on.” Kylo offered and took his chair a second before Hux’s bottom could make contact with it. He gracefully helped him stand up like he wasn’t the reason he fell. 

Hux gave him an evil glare, but made no answer. Afterwards, Rey and Kylo ignored the shouty ginger and dealt with their own things. A few customers were scared off by Hux’s extremely loud conversations. Rey received her answer, he was an organiser because he enjoyed shouting at people. He was also very good at it. His average phone call went a little like this: 

“Did you finish the thing?”

“What do you mean what thing? The thing I said you have to do, it’s not my fault if you’re an imbecile that cannot remember things. Do I take this as no? Brilliant. You have one hour.” 

If the person replied yes, there was always something new that needed doing and it was all urgent. 

“Now do this.”

“What do you mean how? Like you always do.” 

“Well then ask her how she fucking does it, it’s not my fucking job to book chairs, it’s my fucking job to make sure your sorry ass does it.”  
His assistant was equally potty mouthed. She was a tall blonde woman, nearly as tall as Kylo, by the name of Phasma. Rey thought her name sounded a lot like a space stripper. Her conversations were normally a bit more civil, since she needed to talk to caterers and such and they needed to keep those on their good side. It was only after she ended that she would curse. 

“That inbred monkey-brained fucker nearly overcharged us by 4,000 dollars.” Or “It’s a good thing her boobs are so perky, they can bounce off her stupidity.”  
In short, they did nothing to make Rey and Kylo’s Peculiar Bookshop any more pleasant. 

They finally pissed off at 7 pm when Rey announced they were closing. The couple was very happy to be free of them, although they suspected they would be back tomorrow. So they naturally went to bed without setting their alarm. 

The next morning Rey and Kylo took their sweet time having breakfast, Rey even prepared some eggs and toast to have after her small bowl of porridge and a pot instead of a mug of tea. Kylo put on one of his favourite songs Prince Jonny by St. Vincent. They even had a little dance, Rey’s back next to Kylo’s chest and the two swayed slowly to the beat. It was a wonderful morning where their only problem was how to spend as much time as possible.

“It is nearly 11.” Hux was fuming, he’s been forced to work from the outside of the shop. It was a very dewy morning and until 20 minutes ago the damp air left his coat practically wet. It was insufferable. 

“Didn’t you see the sign?” Kylo pointed to a sign he made 10 minutes ago saying that they open at 11 on Fridays. 

“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhh. You’ve made this up! I checked yesterday it wasn’t here!! Don’t you want your stupid little shop to host this event? There will be 100 people  
here, your uncle’s book is heavily anticipated here. God knows you might actually make some profit. That reminds me. You need to leave immediately because we will set up.” 

“What do you mean leave?” Rey was shocked, no one said anything about leaving the place in the hands of the ginger devil. 

“Get the fuck out of my way and let me do my job.” Hux sneered in Rey’s face. He found it hard to intimidate Kylo since he would need a stool to do that, so he settled for his tiny wife. 

It was then that Leia showed up, Kylo assumed she was summoned by the upcoming argument. Arguments were her thing, she always seemed to be in the middle of them. 

“Mind how you’re talking to my daughter in law!” She shouted. Hux recognised her from the meeting and shut up internally fuming still. 

“Apologies, madam. Your daughter in law appears to be reluctant to hand over the keys to this wonderful establishment. Too devoted to their work it seems.” Throughout this all Phasma was not far away on the phone being the picture of sweetness. 

Leia snorted. “Give him the keys.” She said to Kylo who thrust them in Hux’s hands forcefully. 

“I thought it would be nice to have lunch together.” Leia said to her angry son. 

“Let’s.” Rey interjected and dragged Kylo inside. It took a lot of effort on her part, since her husband recently perfected his imitation of an immovable object after a customer tried to move him from in front of fiction section. They left Hux and Phasma to deal with the arriving delivery of books and chairs. She didn’t envy them one bit. 

It wasn’t until they had another coffee that Kylo cheered up. As much as he could - which meant he was still grumpy by normal standards. Leia remained horribly chirpy and dragged her son in every shop she saw. 

“I’ve had more fun watching Rey throw up.” He commented as Leia asked him what he wished to do next. 

“Incorrect. Try again.” She didn’t allow his bad mood to bother her. 

“I think we could go to the vinyl shop Kylo likes.” Rey tried. 

“No.” He said immediately. 

“I think Rey needs some new clothes.” He said, knowing Rey hated to buy clothes. She still wore some from six years ago, all so she could avoid the dreaded mirror and the feeling of regret that followed a large purchase. 

“I’m fine, thank you.” That was false, she was wearing leggings in this horrible weather because her jeans tore at the seams two days ago. She ordered the same pair she always wore online the same day.

“You two are the best company anyone could have.” Leia observed sarcastically. 

“That’s what happens when one person”, she looked at Kylo, “is anxious and touchy. Everyone reacts accordingly.” 

“I’m perfectly fine, mother.” His mother sighed. “Do you want to go to Waterstones and hate on books they sell?” Maybe this would finally sole the mystery of what books he approved of. Maybe even the ones he likes. Not that Kylo would ever admit to liking anything. How he managed to propose to Rey was quite beyond her. 

“Ok.” Kylo perked up. “How long do I have?” 

Rey silently prayed that Leia wouldn’t give him too much time. Because when Kylo ranted, he ranted. And then ranted some more. 

“Thirty minutes. I’m getting hungry.” 

As they entered Kylo went to fiction section. It was there that all his favourite offenders were kept. 

“To make a good book, or at least a decent one, you need a protagonist that is interesting. I don’t have to like them, they just need to keep my interest. Case in point, most of Irvine Welch’s work. They are horrible people, junkies, low-lifes, yet they are all human and flawed and interesting.” 

Rey was familiar with this part of Kylo’s decent book manifesto. When they first dated, they would drink or get stoned together and they would talk literature. Rey just loved books, but was studying engineering. Ben, as he was still called then, was reading comparative literature in an effort to distance himself from the dominating anglophone market of literature. Even in their store, they curated a well-stocked foreign literature section that did not differentiate between nations. That was their main bread-winner, as quite a lot of expats or language students would come and buy books that would otherwise take a long time to arrive. Sometimes customers would do their work for them and buy books on their returns home and donate them to their store. 

“Next, try not to suck at descriptions and backstories. Some new authors try to imitate others, or how they think a writer should sound and it makes it hard to read. I don’t need an exquisite paragraph on a table, when you have a hard time keeping up the voice on the next book. And don’t make your protagonists all sound the same. People have a different way of talking. Lastly, don’t start describing a movie. People have thoughts and books can show those.”  
Leia was sitting on a chair and listening intently. Nothing he said seemed like he was looking for the holy grail. It was shockingly reasonable. 

“Remakes can be good, if you bring something new to the table. However, most authors seem to think that their book is the only one and can therefore do whatever they want, when they are really just rehashing what a different author already did.” 

He found a copy of Austenland and showed it to Leia.

“It is similar for books that lean on genre, ya has been changing in the last year because people are sick of reading the same plots in different situations. Now it needs to ya and something to make it fresh. What I mean is, rather go against what is expected of you and stand as an individual, than be another drop in a sea of similar  
books.”

Kylo was still holding the book and used it as an extension of his hands when gesturing. He usually controlled his movement well, but ranting or rather, explaining, caused him to focus his attention on other things.

Rey was sitting by some books, not really paying attention. This was something she hear a million times before – she even contributed to making it clearer in thinking by challenging his ideas. Now, she was browsing books and taking pictures of some to see if they had them. They sounded interesting, but that wasn’t a good way of predicting the book’s value. Kylo continued his explanation. 

“The book did not work because it was for an Austen aficionado, Hale had a hard time establishing the facetious manner of the film that aimed not to recreate Austen’s literary output, but merely lean on her. Hale did write the script, so she has some talent, but the actors greatly helped to make it seem real. The film is a farce by its own making, it is like the pay they try to stage – only taken seriously by the author - the book is serious.” 

“Lastly, don’t say stupid things. Anna Faris’ book was enjoyable, her tone was very her, but she kept repeating things that weren’t quite true. It put a downer on everything else.”

Kylo ran his hands through his hair. He reached the conclusion of his ‘short’ explanation of a good book. Now it was up to Leia to react as Rey had done so many times throughout the years. She agreed on some points, but diverted because she could understand the appeal of genre fiction. Sometimes she craved it, as a detox from her stressful life or sad books. She had a theory that for a book to be called truly good it must evoke some feelings of sadness, no matter if it seeks that. Who has read Middlesex or Anna Karenina and felt happy after the outcome? 

“What you are saying is any book can be good.” Leia summarised. “As long as they don’t try to conform too much? You anarchist.” She smiled. Some of her really had  
rubbed off on him. 

“Essentially. Unfortunately, half the books here try to be marketable by violently signalling their genre and then rarely surprise the reader. A lot of other things can be forgiven, but if I feel like I’ve read it before, it’s not good.”

Kylo has been trying to settle the matter of genre for quite some time now, it was even the subject of his thesis. Should books sacrifice their surprises so that they can be better judged ahead by the reader? Or is the surprise (or lack of it) part of the deal?

“You can’t say that every predictable book is not good – if we change the genre marketing to make it easier to predict and personalise your choice, then you are erasing some of that and making it predictable and as you said, bad.” Rey was feeling vicious today. She smiled at her husband from her floor seat and readied herself to argue her case, even if she didn’t believe in it.

“That is why it’s only a part of what constitutes a good book, not the full argument.” Kylo was having none of it. 

“Maybe you could give me some examples…” Leia tentatively asked. She loved to read, but her subject was politic and therefore she knew little of what Kylo and Rey were likely to think basic knowledge. A friend of hers once dragged her to a conference on Transcendentalism and Leia thought she ascended on another level of literary misunderstanding. 

“Anything by Conrad, War and Peace and Anna Karenina, as you know.” Rey raised her eyebrows, she knew he liked it, but why would his mum be so aware of that?

“I used to have a crush on Anna.” He slowly admitted. Rey snorted in response. “Nerd.” She said lovingly. 

“Then, Call me by Your Name. Pretty damn good, even though you knew it wasn’t going to work out.” He was looking at Rey as he said that. “Gaiman is a tad overrated, but he’s a great storyteller, Chuck Palahnuik is good if you can deal with a tad of pretentious language, Douglas Adams is incredible, Flowers for Algernon broke my freaking heart, We Need to Talk about Kevin is also good, but it wasn’t as disturbing as I had anticipated…” 

Kylo was ready to keep talking for another hour. However, Leia was hungry and she needed to make sure her daughter in law won’t wear leggings to tonight’s event, remembering that Rey told her she threw out her jeans. After that, she would leave them alone, as they rarely didn’t work. So her eyes focused on the shelf behind him, as she thought about her order later. Leia really hoped she would get away with ordering mac and cheese. 

“Are you listening?” Kylo asked offended. “You’re the one that asked.” 

“I am, honey, I’m just hungry that’s all.” 

“You haven’t commented much on what I was saying.” He defended himself. 

“I haven’t got much to add.” His mother retorted. “Except of being guilty of intentionally dumbing myself so I could enjoy a book.” 

“Kylo stop harassing your mother.” Rey interjected. Leia was making an effort and he was protesting she didn’t get in a fight with him, which would be  
counterproductive. “I am starving.” She continued.

“I wasn’t.” He mumbled. He was hungry too. 

“I can hear your stomach rumble.” Rey smiled and stood up. She kissed Kylo on the cheek. “She’s being nice.” She whispered to him and went into a different section.  
Now they were alone. 

“Ben.” Leia got her son’s attention. 

“I really was listening.” 

“Yeah…” he said defeated. “I seem to be excellent at picking a fight with you.” 

“Got that from your father.” She smiled sadly. 

“Let’s not talk about him.” 

“I’ll play nice today. Even if I want to punch Hux in the face.” 

“I’ll hold him if you want me to.” Kylo smiled. Two peas in a pod.


	2. Shots! Shots! Shots!

“You’re here.” Hux said. They were about ready to start the party. Their store was… not unrecognisable, but nicely looking. Their original black décor was used as background for black/red theme that fitted perfectly with the cover of the book. There was an open bar serving liquor behind the counter – their electronics were removed and hopefully somewhere safe – with a special red cocktail advertised. Since it was a party, there were lots of tall tables scattered around, as well as a small stage with a microphone. Rey guessed it was for a speech or maybe even a quick reading. The best part of the decorations was a well that was assembled out of books complete with a bucket to pull out red gummy candy. 

“In our home? Shocking.” Rey replied. She was wearing a pretty pink maxi dress with a halter neck. Kylo was with her in his traditional full black outfit. Since it was a special occasion he wore a dark grey shirt. That and he made fun out of Hux wearing all black when he did the same. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. 

“Ben!” An excited voice erupted through the store. It belonged to Luke Skywalker. The man walked closer to his nephew. 

“You must be Rey.” He gave her a big smile as he extended his hand. 

“I am so sorry I missed your wedding. Who knew a volcano would erupt a day before your wedding.” 

“How fortunate for you. Don’t you usually forget to show up?” Kylo commented. “You wrote a book.” 

Luke tried hard not to let it affect him. He ignored the accusation and replied “I did. It was very surprising, never knew I had the writing skills to pull this off.” 

“Incredible!” Rey exclaimed and dug her nails in Kylo’s upper arm feeling the muscle and hopefully leaving marks. “What gave you the idea?” 

“He wasn’t talking to anyone, so he had some free time on his hands.” Kylo hissed. 

“Where is your book then?” Rey asked him immediately. 

“I still lack an idea.” Kylo dead panned. It was then that the publicist dragged Luke away leaving the couple alone. Rey needed a drink – family things were fun, but only when tipsy. She and her tall shadow that was Kylo got some drinks and began mingling. She did not recognise anyone around her and that didn’t improve, as more and more people arrived. People that you wouldn’t think would be interested in this book. Rey thought it odd, but didn’t care too much as she was trying to have a conversation with a publisher of children’s books. Finally, a person who was willing to talk to her. 

“I get so many manuscripts that clearly weren’t thought through. You think it’s easy to write for a kind, but they are smarter than you think.” He was explaining.   
Kylo was stood next to Rey and just listened to the conversation. 

“I can imagine! Just the other day a family came in… ”

Kylo stopped listening and was scanning the room. He saw his mother arriving with Chewie, an old family friend. His mother waved at him, but neither of them made any effort to communicate further. She was followed by Finn and Poe who looked like they were in a heated debate. 

Kylo was right, the pair was debating Poe’s insistence on fulfilling his true purpose – discovering the drunk Kylo. He knew that once upon a time Rey met the drunk and stoned Kylo, but she refused to share what that was like. 

“This is a very bad idea, Poe.” Finn repeated for the 7th time. “There are just too many things that can go wrong.”

“But this is the perfect setting for this! There are people, it is loud, look!” he pointed to the bar, “even the alcohol is free. The universe wants me to do this.” Poe looked triumphant. 

“Fine.” Finn gave in. “But when Kylo gets angry and trashes the place, you deal with Rey and Leia.” 

Poe puffed. “Kylo is so not an angry drunk. I think he just becomes weepy and laments his fate.” 

“You are so wrong.” Finn nearly shouted back. “That man is a contained drama queen, he is bound to make a very public fuck you to his family” 

“Ha ha.” Poe wasn’t having this. “Wanna make a bet?” 

“Hell, yeah.” 

“Ok, if Kylo turns out to be an aggressive drama queen when drunk, I will do the dishes for a week.” 

“A month.” Poe counter offered. 

“Fine, a mounth. This is how sure I am that you are wrong.” 

“There is only one thing.” Finn remembered. “How are we going to get Kylo to drink.” 

“That shouldn’t be hard, he is already at the bar.” 

The party was in full swing, the plan was set in motion and best of all, Kylo and Rey were separated. 

Finn and Poe nearly ran to the bar and stood themselves on either side of Kylo who seemed very confused by this development. 

“Can I help you? Rey is somewhere being interesting.” 

“We had an argument on the way here.” 

“And I care because?” Kylo had a sip of his drink – a double whisky. 

“I think that you don’t drink because you can’t handle ANY alcohol.” Finn said. “Like when you finish this drink you will be so smashed that Rey will come and drag you   
upstairs because you won’t be able to walk, kind of bad drinker.” 

This is when Poe interjected. “I think it’s les dramatic. It’s two drinks you need to be that level drunk. “ 

Kylo’s brain was turned off that evening because he would have resisted the call of hypermasculinity otherwise. 

“I am NOT a lightweight. I can drink this entire bar and not have a hangover.” He boasted. 

“That doesn’t mean you can handle the drinks, though.” Poe poked. 

“I have nothing to prove to you.” 

“Really? Because we have an open bar here and plenty of time to test your theory.” Finn continued teasing him. 

Kylo sighed. He drained his drink. “Fine.” He addressed the barman who was not so secretly listening in. “I would like 7 shots of vodka please.” 

Finn and Poe looked at each other. That was a lot of alcohol. This was very exciting; they smiled and put their thumbs up behind their friend’s back. 

The glasses were put on the metaphorical stage and the clear devil’s liquid was waiting for Kylo. This was such a bad idea. He hadn’t drunk this much in years. 

“Watch this and learn, younglings.” Kylo bluffed and drained all the shots in what constituted an impressive display of binge drinking. If they were 6 years younger, he   
would have been the king. 

Kylo raised his hands triumphantly. He was fine so far, but it just hit him 6 shots was his limit. 7 shot Kylo was the return of… he preferred not to think about   
that’. “Fuck” he muttered and attempted to flee before he could profess his love for the barman. Or worse, Rey’s friends. 

His path was blocked by his mother looking to have a drink. “Here you are!” She kissed her son on the cheek. 

“Please behave tonight.” She said seriously. Her eyes focused on the empty shot glasses. Poe looked at Leia with an innocent expression, while Finn was doing his best   
to not beg for forgiveness. 

“I see my warning has come too late.” She ordered her drink and patted Kylo’s arm. Her son was too embarrassed to move and stood awkwardly. 

“Let’s go find Rey.” Leia suggested and glared at the couple behind her. Poe decided to keep his distance but was still bursting with curiosity. 

“Here you are!” Rey greeted her husband. Her smile instantly faded. “Why the long face? What did you do?” 

“I had some shots.” He confessed. 

“How many?” 

“Enough.” He stated. Rey thought about it for a minute. “Enough to return… you know who?” 

“Yes.” Kylo felt like a little boy again. He recognised the redness of Rey’s cheeks. She had plenty of drinks herself. Kylo could even see how she swerved just a tad   
every now and then. 

“Well, the reading is apparently starting soon.”

“How do you know that.” He accused his wife. 

“Because the supreme organizing bitch has been running around with the publisher to make sure everything was on schedule.” Rey pointed to a corner where Luke   
was attempting to talk to Chewie but was being pulled away by two exasperated men. 

“I give you that one. But I am fine.” Rey raised an eyebrow. “For now.” 

Leia never saw her son drunk. Hell, she never saw him have more than one drink. Rey clearly did and was not happy. She wondered what was so horrible that Ben   
managed to evoke such vivid facial expression of distaste. 

“Do you remembered what happened last time you had too many drinks?” Rey retorted. This was such a bad idea. His mother might die on the spot because of the shock. 

Kylo did recall his last adventure. It involved singing and other embarrassing things. There was a skirt involved. Unfortunately for him, vodka demanded his attention. In a matter of moments all the shots commanded his body and mind. 

It was also when the reading begun. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Luke Skywalker and his first book The Taste of the Rain. I hope it is the first of many.” The crowd gave a polite applause and focused its attention on the stage. Behind the editor stood Luke with a book in his hands. Kylo saw his uncle and cheered up on the spot. He even walked closed to the stage. 

Rey whispered, “oh no” and followed him, but had a much harder time doing so due to her short stature. 

Luke traded places with the speaker. 

“Thank you for that nice welcome.” He saw his nephew approach him with a determined expression. That was never a good thing. The editor saw him too and gestured to Hux he should do something about it. Unfortunately, the tall man was fast. With one motion he detached the microphone from the stand and placed himself directly in front of Luke. 

“I think my uncle deserved more praise than that.” 

Rey facepalmed. Leia started. Luke gasped. The crowd had no clue what was going on and Hux stopped in place. 

“I, I, I may not be eloquent enough right now, because alcohol. Free bar is a bad idea.” He leaned on the microphone stand. “As is DARING people to take a large amount of shots. Finn, Poe I am calling you out.” He pointed at the pair. “An applause please.” He attempted to clap too, but mostly just looked like a confused flamenco dancer. The crowd gave a quiet applause. 

“I did actually read the book.” He turned to his uncle. “I, I, I know how shocking that is. It’s even more shocking because it wasn’t shit.” He turned to the editor. “You should put that on the cover. It wasn’t shit. Kylo Ren. Can you make it in a heart? This cover needs some hearts. It looks so sad, I just wanna hug the fucking rain. How can you make rain even sadder?” He realised he was rambling and returned back to his original purpose.” 

“I say this with love, but my family is fucking shit when I’m sober. But I’m drunk!” He raised his hands for a bit. “So, everything is peachy keen.” 

“My mum is great and I am pretty sure I last said this in 2015, but I love you.” Luke tried to get the microphone from Kylo. He defended himself poorly, but enough to make it apparent that was a bad idea. By defended I mean he slapped Luke’s hand until he gave up. 

“You will get your turn.” 

“Anyway, mom, you keep on annoying Rey and I will keep on annoying you. But with love.” He made a little heart with his hands. 

“Shoutout to Chewie for never intervening in our family shit, but somehow always being there.” 

He let go of the microphone and hugged Luke. It was like an anaconda hugging a mouse. Not only did it look uncomfortable, it felt wrong too.

“I forgive you.” He stage whispered. 

Then he tore the microphone out of Hux’s hands. “This is for my wife Rey. She’s the one in the pink dress looking really embarrassed. This is for you.” 

He took the superhero pose and sang 

“ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!” 

“Kylo Ren out.” 

He dropped the microphone for good and walked off the stage. He picked Rey up and they disappeared together. 

The crowd had no idea what was going on, however they were certainly pleased that it was over, as their applause for the second introduction was more booming.   
Upstairs Rey was fuming. 

“I know you are drunk, but what the fuck was that?” She turned on the espresso machine to make some coffee. She knew it doesn’t actually work, but it helped give the impression. 

“I was thinking I love you and everyone needs to know.” He pouted. “Don’t you love me?” 

Rey sighed. “You know I do.” 

Leia joined them. Kylo perked up. “MOM” he jumped and hugged her. 

“Oh, my overgrown son.” 

She sat him down and gave him the coffee Rey just made. “You know I love you. I always did.” Leia stroked her son’s hair. 

“I’m sleepy.” He said as he broke free of the hug. To prove that drunk he was something special, Kylo fell asleep right on the floor. 

“Well, that was a performance and a half.” Leia concluded.


End file.
